Tiny Humans

I am not generally fond of tiny humans. I understand that I am in the minority here. But until humans emerge from the pustular eggsac that is puberty, I would really rather not be around them. I hope my friends who have already procreated can understand that it’s nothing personal – I don’t like anyone’s genetic replicants. I wouldn’t even like my own.

I do, however, love making things for tiny humans! It’s the closest thing to instant gratification you can get in crafting. An adult sweater could take months (years). Baby sweaters can be knocked out in a few hours. Afghan? Years. Baby blankets? Days. And don’t get me started on baby booties. Blink and they’re finished.

And the fit of everything is so forgiving. There is no unflattering shape for a baby. Since they’re really just squashy blobs of proto-human. Since there are babies everywhere at work, I’ve made a few baby sets recently.

hooked02_medium2 quickie01_medium2 bobbi_medium2 candace09_medium2

Another coworker is set to pop in a few days but I’m a little burnt out on baby clothes, knit or crocheted. So I’m going to try something new (for me) and design a cross-stitch sampler-style birth announcement. Designing cross-stitch is so much easier than designing knitwear – it’s basically scaling pixel art up or down to suit your purposes. Almost everything I cross-stitch I’ve either designed from scratch myself, or backwards-engineered and/or heavily adapted patterns from pictures of finished objects I’ve seen. I think I’ve only posted publicly on of these, and it isn’t even something I’ve made myself yet: a Silence of the Lamb biscornu (I went through a biscornu phase, even if I only ever finished one of the little bitches).

Anyway, I’m excited about this sampler – it’s a good challenge for me, and it’s something different from what I’ve made before. The other reason that I want to design something is that most designs for babies are very, very binary-gender-coded. And being non-binary myself, I can’t put that kind of pressure on a proto-human.

PS: I think I’ve finally settled on “non-binary” as my primary gender descriptor. “Ehhh do I have to gender is haaaard” is just too long in most contexts. I have “standard female” plumbing but that’s really only relevant to doctors.

Okay gender politics moment over, back to BABIES. So many babies. I hope to never have to interact with them in person, but I like their parents so I will handcraft clothing and decorations for them.

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2 thoughts on “Tiny Humans

  1. I’m super excited to be the guinea pig for something new! I look forward to seeing a non-binary work of art! And I promise not to sic my tiny human on you 🙂

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